Don't-Let-Me-Forget Mission

You hand your child a real job that has to be remembered later — “when we get to the shop, remind me to buy bananas” — and together you invent a reminder that will do the remembering for them. This is remembering to remember, and the first step toward a child who packs their own bag.

Give one mission with a clear trigger. “When the timer rings, remind me to take the washing out.” / “When Grandma arrives, tell her we saved her a biscuit.” / “When we get to the shop, remind me — bananas!”
Have the child say it back in their own words, trigger included.
Ask the key question. “That’s a long time to keep it in your head. What could we do so we don’t forget?” Let the child suggest first.
Build the reminder together. Draw a banana on a sticky note and put it on the door. Put the washing basket in the middle of the hall. Put a clothes peg on a sleeve. Tie a ribbon to the shopping bag.
Get on with the day. Do not mention the mission again.
The moment arrives. Give the child a few seconds to notice the trigger. If they remember — big thanks, “You saved the bananas!” If not, point to the reminder without a word and wait.
Debrief in one sentence. “What helped you remember?”

Variation: The night before kindergarten, the child chooses what must not be forgotten tomorrow (library book, wellies) and places it somewhere impossible to miss — on top of their shoes. In the morning, see whether the trick worked.

Requirements

Space: Normal household and errand settings
Surface: Not applicable
Materials: Whatever makes a reminder — sticky notes and a crayon, a kitchen timer, a clothes peg, a ribbon, the object itself
Participants: 1 adult + 1 child
Supervision: Light — a minute to set up and a minute at the trigger moment

Rationale & Objective

Most memory games ask a child to recall the past; this one trains prospective memory, remembering to do something in the future. Kvavilashvili, Messer & Ebdon (2001) found that this ability improves modestly between ages 4 and 7, and that having to break off another activity makes young children more likely to miss the moment. Somerville, Wellman & Cultice (1983) showed that even 2- to 4-year-olds can remember to remind a parent of something, particularly when the task matters to them — which is why a real job works better than a pretend one. The second half of the exercise is about memory strategies. Preparing an external reminder is one of the first deliberate strategies children understand, and Teaching Strategies GOLD Objective 12a lists “uses a few deliberate strategies to remember information” as part of the progression. Asking “what helped you remember?” builds what Schneider & Pressley (1997) call metamemory — knowing how your own memory works, which underpins later study skills. Mahy, Moses & Kliegel (2014) link prospective memory closely to growing executive function.

Progress Indicators

Early: repeats the mission happily but has forgotten it by the trigger moment; remembers only when shown the reminder and told what it means
Developing: remembers when the reminder comes into view or with a small nudge (“Wasn’t there something…?”); needs the adult to think of the reminder
Proficient: remembers at the trigger without help when the gap is 30–60 minutes; suggests a sensible reminder of their own
Advanced: carries a mission across several hours or overnight; sets up reminders unprompted for their own things; can explain which tricks work best for them

Safety Notes

Never use this for anything that matters for safety or health — medicine, turning something off, collecting a sibling — a 5-year-old’s reminder is a game, not a backup system
Keep ribbons, strings, and rubber bands loose and off necks, wrists, and fingers; a peg on a sleeve or a sticker on a hand is safer
One mission at a time; a forgotten mission should cost nothing (buy the bananas anyway) and never lead to blame
Anxious children can fret about forgetting — make the reminder do the worrying (“the note remembers, so you can go and play”)
Forgetting future tasks is entirely normal at this age; seek advice only if it sits alongside broader difficulties with attention, following instructions, or everyday memory

Hints

Playfulness: call it a secret-agent mission with a code name (“Operation Banana”). Deliver the briefing in a whisper and salute when the mission is complete
Sustain interest: keep a jar or a tally of completed missions; let the child set a mission for you and catch you forgetting. Try out different kinds of reminders and vote for the best
Common mistake: reminding the child of the mission halfway through the wait, or jumping in the second the trigger happens. Give them ten quiet seconds — that pause is where the skill grows
Limited space: needs none. In the car, the trigger can be a landmark — “When we pass the red bridge, remind me to turn the music on”
Cross-domain: drawing or “writing” the reminder note is early writing with a real purpose; talking about when things will happen builds time concepts; being trusted with a real job builds responsibility and self-confidence
Progression: a 5-minute gap with a timer → a 30-minute gap with a visible reminder → a trigger away from home (the shop, Grandma’s) → no reminder, memory only → two missions on the same day → an overnight mission the child plans alone

Sources

Kvavilashvili, L., Messer, D.J. & Ebdon, P. (2001), “Prospective memory in children: The effects of age and task interruption,” Developmental Psychology, 37(3)
Somerville, S.C., Wellman, H.M. & Cultice, J.C. (1983), “Young children’s deliberate reminding,” Journal of Genetic Psychology, 143(1)
Mahy, C.E.V., Moses, L.J. & Kliegel, M. (2014), “The development of prospective memory in children: An executive framework,” Developmental Review, 34(4)
Schneider, W. & Pressley, M. (1997), Memory Development Between Two and Twenty (2nd ed.) — memory strategies and metamemory
Teaching Strategies GOLD — Objective 12a (Recognizes and recalls; uses strategies to remember)
HighScope — planning time in the plan-do-review sequence