Our Family Flag — What Makes Us Us

The family designs a flag together — choosing a few pictures that stand for what this particular family loves, does, and comes from — then hangs it up and invents a family cheer to go with it.

  1. Start with a chat, not with the pens: “What makes our family our family? What do we love doing together? What do we always eat? Where do our grandparents come from?” Write down or sketch every answer, the child’s first.
  2. Together choose 3 or 4 things to go on the flag — for example a bicycle (we ride together), a dumpling (Grandma’s recipe), a mountain (where Dad grew up), the cat.
  3. Fold a large sheet of paper or an old pillowcase into sections, one per symbol. Each family member draws at least one; the child decides where things go.
  4. Choose the flag’s colours together and fill the background. Add the family name, or a name the family invents for itself.
  5. Make up a short family cheer or motto — three or four words the child helps pick (“Nowaks never give up!” / “Loud, kind, and hungry!”).
  6. Hang the flag where everyone can see it and hold an opening ceremony: the child explains each picture to an audience (a grandparent, the soft toys), and everyone shouts the cheer.

Variation: make it a paper shield, a door sign, or a banner of handprints — one print per family member, including faraway relatives who post or photograph theirs. Fly the flag on special days such as birthdays or the first day of school.

Requirements

  • Space: A table or floor area big enough for everyone to draw at once
  • Surface: A wipeable table, or newspaper underneath if using paint
  • Materials: Large paper or an old pillowcase/sheet, markers, crayons or paint, tape or string for hanging; a stick or hanger for a flagpole is optional
  • Participants: 1 child + as many family members as possible (at least 1 adult)
  • Supervision: Moderate — adult takes part as an equal designer and manages paint

Rationale & Objective

A shared symbol makes a group feel real. Developmental research on group membership shows how readily five-year-olds attach to a group that has a visible marker: in Dunham, Baron, and Carey’s (2011) studies, simply being given a group colour was enough for 5-year-olds to feel positively about “their” group. A family flag puts that tendency to warm use — the marker stands for the child’s most important group, and the child helped decide what goes on it. Choosing the symbols requires the child to think about what the family shares (activities, food, places, values), which is the content of group identity; Fiese’s work on family rituals calls this the “this is who we are” message. The EYLF describes children building a sense of belonging when their family’s culture and ways of doing things are recognised and reflected in the setting, and Reggio Emilia practice treats the visible documentation of a group’s shared life as a way of telling children that they and their community matter. Including where grandparents come from brings in heritage, and inventing the cheer adds a small group ritual the family can reuse.

Progress Indicators

  • Early: suggests only personal favourites (“my dinosaur”); needs prompting to think of things the whole family shares; loses interest before the flag is finished
  • Developing: names 1–2 things the family does together and draws one of them; joins in the cheer; points out the flag to visitors
  • Proficient: suggests several shared family features, explains each symbol on the finished flag (“the mountain is because Dad is from there”), and uses the cheer spontaneously
  • Advanced: negotiates which symbols make the cut, includes something for each family member, notices that other families would have different flags, and proposes updates when family life changes

Safety Notes

  • Use washable, non-toxic markers or paint, and keep string or cord for hanging out of reach of younger children
  • Every family shape belongs on a flag — single-parent, blended, two-household, foster, and kinship families included; let the child say who and what goes on it
  • Keep the cheer about what the family is, not about being better than other families
  • If the child wants a symbol for someone who has died or moved away, include it — leaving people out can feel worse than the sadness of remembering

Hints

  • Playfulness: hold a grand unveiling with a countdown, a drum roll on saucepans, and a parade round the home carrying the flag
  • Sustain interest: raise the flag for family occasions, take it on picnics, and add one new small symbol each year on the same date
  • Common mistake: the adult designing a neat flag and letting the child colour it in. Messy and child-chosen beats tidy and adult-chosen every time
  • Limited space: make a pocket-sized version on an index card or a paper plate, or stick the symbols straight onto the fridge door
  • Cross-domain: choosing a picture to stand for an idea is symbolic thinking; drawing and painting build fine motor control; the cheer is rhyme and rhythm practice
  • Progression: one shared drawing and a cheer → three chosen symbols with reasons → the child presents the flag to relatives → compare with a friend’s or cousin’s family flag → design a flag for the class or a group of friends

Sources

  • Dunham, Y., Baron, A.S. & Carey, S. (2011), “Consequences of ‘minimal’ group affiliations in children,” Child Development, 82(3)
  • Fiese, B.H. et al. (2002), “A review of 50 years of research on naturally occurring family routines and rituals: Cause for celebration?” Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4)
  • EYLF (Belonging, Being & Becoming) — Outcome 1: children have a strong sense of identity
  • Reggio Emilia approach — documentation and display of the group’s shared identity
  • Head Start ELOF — Sense of Identity and Belonging
  • Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J.O., Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves (NAEYC)