The Visiting Doll — A Friend With a Different Story

One doll or soft toy is set apart from the toy box and given a life story — a name, a family, a home, favourite things and one or two ways its life differs from the child’s. The doll “comes to visit”, and the child gets to know it the way you get to know a new friend.

  1. Choose a doll or toy that is not part of everyday play. Before you start, decide its story: name, age, who is in its family, what language it speaks at home, what it loves to eat and play, and something that is different from your child’s life (a wheelchair, glasses, a new country, two homes, a different festival).
  2. Bring the doll in on your lap and introduce it warmly: “This is Amara. She’s five, like you. She’s come to visit.”
  3. Share two or three things about the doll, starting with what it has in common with the child (“She loves swings too”), then one difference.
  4. Invite questions: “Is there anything you’d like to ask Amara?” Listen to the doll “whisper” and pass on the answers. Model a curious question yourself: “Amara, what is that like for you?”
  5. Tell a small event from the doll’s week — something happy, or a time someone said “you can’t play” — and ask: “How do you think she felt? What could a friend do?”
  6. Let the child choose a game to play with the doll, then say goodbye until the next visit.

Variation: Keep two or three visiting dolls with different stories and let them come on different days.

Requirements

  • Space: A quiet corner, sofa or bed
  • Surface: Not applicable
  • Materials: One doll or soft toy kept specially for this (any kind), optional small props that fit its story
  • Participants: 1 adult + 1 child; works with a small group of children
  • Supervision: Moderate — the adult voices the doll and steers the conversation

Rationale & Objective

Persona dolls are an established anti-bias method (Whitney, 1999; Brown, 2001; Derman-Sparks & Edwards): because the doll has a stable identity and a continuing life, children relate to it as a person rather than a plaything, and can meet kinds of difference that may not yet be present in their own circle. The doll gives a safe place to practise the hardest item in this subdomain — asking about differences in a respectful and curious way — since no real person can be hurt by a clumsy question and the adult can model better wording. Research on “extended contact” supports the mechanism: Cameron, Rutland, Brown and Douch (2006) found that 5- to 11-year-olds who heard stories about friendships with children from another group developed more positive attitudes toward that group. Leading with similarities and then adding difference reflects the same research and the anti-bias goal that children feel “comfort and joy with human diversity”. The problem-solving step (“what could a friend do?”) rehearses including a peer who is different.

Progress Indicators

  • Early: treats the doll as an ordinary toy; has no questions or blurts out judgements (“that’s weird”); focuses only on the difference
  • Developing: greets the doll by name and remembers parts of its story; asks simple questions; names a feeling the doll might have
  • Proficient: asks curious, kind questions (“what do you eat at your festival?”); notices things in common; suggests how to help or include the doll
  • Advanced: brings what they learned to real people — asks a new classmate respectful questions, includes them in play, or objects when someone is teased for being different

Safety Notes

  • No physical risks beyond normal doll safety; check for loose small parts if younger siblings are around
  • Give the doll a rounded life — likes, family, silly habits — so it is never reduced to its difference or made a stereotype of a whole group
  • Answer honestly; if the child asks something you do not know (about a religion, a disability, a country), say “let’s find out together” rather than inventing an answer
  • Keep hard stories small and solvable for a 5-year-old; a doll’s story should not carry frightening adult themes such as war or violence in detail
  • Do not base the doll on a real child the family knows

Hints

  • Playfulness: let the doll have opinions and a sense of humour — it can be shy, whisper only to the adult, or ask the child questions back
  • Sustain interest: keep the story continuing — the doll returns with news (a lost tooth, a new baby cousin, a festival coming up) so the child looks forward to visits
  • Common mistake: using the doll to lecture. Let the child’s questions lead, and let the doll simply be a friend most of the time
  • Limited space: needs nothing but the doll and a lap; a visit can last five minutes at bedtime
  • Cross-domain: asking and answering questions, remembering a continuing narrative (language and memory); naming feelings (emotional development); look up the doll’s home or festival in a book or on a map (knowledge of the world)
  • Progression: meet the doll and find things in common → learn one difference → ask own questions → help solve a small problem the doll had → meet a second doll with another story → talk about real people the child knows

Sources

  • Whitney, T. (1999), Kids Like Us: Using Persona Dolls in the Classroom, Redleaf Press
  • Brown, B. (2001), Combating Discrimination: Persona Dolls in Action, Trentham Books
  • Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J.O. (2010; 2nd ed. 2020 with C.M. Goins), Anti-Bias Education for Young Children and Ourselves, NAEYC
  • Cameron, L., Rutland, A., Brown, R. & Douch, R. (2006), “Changing children’s intergroup attitudes toward refugees: Testing different models of extended contact,” Child Development
  • EYLF (Australia) Outcome 2 — children respond to diversity with respect
  • CASEL framework — Social Awareness (appreciating diversity, respect for others)