Catch My Eye — The Look-Then-Roll Ball Game

A sit-down ball game with one rule — the ball only travels when two pairs of eyes have met. It turns a brief, friendly glance into the “ready?” signal it is in real conversation, without anyone ever saying “look at me”.

  1. Sit on the floor facing each other, legs apart, about 2 meters away. With three or more players, sit in a circle.
  2. Explain the rule — “The ball can’t go until our eyes say hello.” The roller looks at the person they want to send it to; when that person looks back, the roller rolls.
  3. Play slowly at first. If the child rolls without looking, just let the ball go past and smile — “Oops, I wasn’t ready! Catch my eye first.”
  4. Add a silent signal — after eyes meet, the receiver gives a small nod or eyebrow raise meaning “ready”, and only then does the ball go.
  5. In a group, play with no names and no pointing — the only way to choose who gets the ball is to look at them.
  6. End with a round where the child is in charge of the rule and “catches out” the adults who forget to look.

Variation: play Follow My Eyes — put three toys in a row, keep your head still and simply look at one. The child guesses which toy you chose, then hides their own choice in their eyes for you to read.

Requirements

  • Space: About 2 × 2 meters of clear floor
  • Surface: Any smooth floor or carpet where a ball rolls
  • Materials: A soft ball; three small toys for the variation
  • Participants: 1 adult + 1 child; best with 3–5 players in a circle
  • Supervision: Light — the adult plays along

Rationale & Objective

Mutual gaze is one of the earliest social signals humans respond to (Farroni et al., 2002), and in conversation it works as a channel-opener — a glance says “I am talking to you” and “I am ready”. Children of 5 know how to look, but often do not yet use looking deliberately to start an exchange or to check a partner is listening, which is what SLP pragmatic checklists mean by appropriate eye contact. This game gives looking a job, so it is practised as functional communication rather than as compliance, and each instance is short and followed by something enjoyable. The Follow My Eyes variation trains the related skill of working out what someone is attending to from eye direction alone, which preschoolers are still refining (Doherty & Anderson, 1999) and which supports joint attention and perspective-taking.

Progress Indicators

  • Early: watches the ball rather than the partner; rolls without checking; needs a reminder almost every turn
  • Developing: looks up before most rolls once the game is going; holds the glance only for an instant; cannot yet choose a receiver by gaze alone in a group
  • Proficient: reliably looks, waits for the look or nod back, then rolls; picks a receiver in a circle using only eyes; reads which of three toys the adult is looking at
  • Advanced: uses a glance to check in during ordinary conversation and play (before speaking, before passing something); reads small eye movements; teaches the rule to another child

Safety Notes

  • Never hold a child’s face, demand “look at me”, or insist on sustained staring. A natural glance of a second is all the game needs, and looking near the face (forehead, nose) counts
  • For autistic children and some anxious children direct eye contact can be genuinely uncomfortable or make listening harder; follow the child’s comfort, accept other ready signals (a nod, a raised hand, turning the body) and take guidance from the child’s therapist if they have one
  • Norms for eye contact differ between cultures and families — teach what fits your own setting rather than a universal rule
  • Use a soft ball and roll rather than throw indoors
  • If a child consistently avoids looking at faces in all situations, or seems not to notice where others are looking, raise it with a pediatrician

Hints

  • Playfulness: add a wink, a wiggle of the eyebrows or a silly face as the ready signal; call it “eye-phone” — you have to connect the call before you can send
  • Sustain interest: swap the ball for a toy car, a rolled-up sock or a balloon to tap; at the dinner table pass the bread only after catching the eye of the person you are passing to
  • Common mistake: praising with “good looking!” every turn, which makes it a performance. Let the natural result — the ball arriving, the smile — be the reward
  • Limited space: play at the table sliding a coin or a bottle cap, or play the Follow My Eyes variation, which needs no room at all
  • Cross-domain: waiting for the ready signal is impulse-control practice; rolling and stopping a ball builds object-control skills; count how many passes the group can make without a missed look
  • Progression: look then roll → look, wait for a nod, roll → choose a receiver by eyes in a circle → Follow My Eyes with 3 then 5 toys → carry the “catch my eye first” habit into passing things and starting a chat

Sources

  • Farroni, T., Csibra, G., Simion, F. & Johnson, M.H. (2002), “Eye contact detection in humans from birth,” PNAS
  • Senju, A. & Johnson, M.H. (2009), “The eye contact effect: mechanisms and development,” Trends in Cognitive Sciences
  • Doherty, M.J. & Anderson, J.R. (1999), “A new look at gaze: Preschool children’s understanding of eye-direction,” Cognitive Development
  • Head Start ELOF — Language & Communication, Goal P-LC 4 (understands, follows, and uses appropriate social and conversational rules)
  • ASHA — Social Communication Benchmarks
  • Teaching Strategies GOLD Objective 10b — uses social rules of language