What If I Get Lost?

A gentle role-play for the moment every parent dreads — getting separated in a shop or park. The plan is short and empowering: stop, shout, find a safe helper, and never leave with anyone. Keep it playful, not scary.

  1. Stop and stay put. The instant the child cannot see you, they stop and stay where they are (wandering makes them harder to find). Practise: “Show me what you do if you turn around and I’m gone.”

  2. Shout your grown-up’s real name. Not “Mum!” — lots of grown-ups answer to that. Teach them to call your actual name loudly.

  3. Find a safe helper. If you do not come, they look for a helper in this order: someone in uniform (a shop worker with a name badge, a police officer) — and if there is none, a mum or dad with children, who is statistically the safest stranger to ask.

  4. Never go off with anyone. A helper brings the grown-up to the child — the child never leaves with anyone or goes to a car to “look for” you. And the golden rule for tricky requests: “I check with my grown-up first.”

  5. Name your helpers. Together, list the child’s trusted grown-ups (Mum, Dad, Grandma, a named teacher) — the people they can always tell anything to.

Variation: rehearse “what if” scenarios — a grown-up asks the child to help find a puppy (safe grown-ups don’t ask kids for help), or offers sweets to come along (“I have to check first”). Keep the tone light, like a quiz.

Requirements

  • Space: Anywhere to role-play; reinforce it for real in shops, parks, and busy places
  • Surface: None needed
  • Materials: None; optional toys to act out the scene, or a real outing to practise spotting who would be a safe helper there
  • Participants: One adult and one child; siblings can role-play the helpers and the tricky people
  • Supervision: Full and adult-led; keep the tone reassuring, never frightening

Rationale & Objective

What If I Get Lost? hands a five-year-old a short, memorable plan for getting separated, and quietly replaces the old, ineffective stranger danger message with something that actually works. Two facts from child-safety experts shape it. First, telling children all strangers are dangerous backfires: most abductions and abuse involve someone the child knows, and a child who fears every stranger will freeze instead of approaching the very helpers — a shop worker, a police officer, a parent with kids — who can reunite them. So the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children teaches a Check First rule and the tricky people idea (safe grown-ups don’t ask kids for help) rather than stranger-spotting. Second, young children are concrete thinkers, so “find a mum with kids” beats “avoid danger,” and role-play — not a scary lecture — is how the plan sticks; the AAP stresses teaching caution without fear. The activity builds toward a confident child who, if lost, stays put, summons a safe helper, and never leaves with anyone.

Progress Indicators

  • Early: with prompting, knows to “find a grown-up” if lost, but may wander or simply cry
  • Developing: stops and stays put and looks for a helper; can name a police officer or shop worker as someone safe to ask
  • Proficient: independently stops, shouts the grown-up’s real name, and seeks a uniformed helper or a parent with children, and knows never to leave with anyone
  • Advanced: spots “tricky” requests (a grown-up asking a child for help, or offering treats to come along), responds with “I check first,” and can name several trusted adults in their safety network

Safety Notes

  • Keep it empowering, never terrifying — lead with the plan and the child’s capability, and avoid graphic talk about what could go wrong.
  • Do not teach that all strangers are dangerous; it is untrue and stops a lost child approaching the helpers who can save them. Teach instead that we judge grown-ups by what they do, not how they look.
  • Reinforce that even a real helper brings the grown-up to the child — the child stays put and never goes to a car or another place with anyone.
  • Refresh the plan briefly and playfully each time you enter somewhere big or crowded, rather than in one heavy talk.

Hints

  • Playfulness: make it a quiz game — “Safe helper or not? A worker with a badge… yes! Someone who asks you to find their puppy… uh-oh!” — and let the child play the helper too
  • Sustain interest: change the setting each time (a shop, a park, a fair), and on each new outing pick out together who would be a safe helper there
  • Common mistake: relying on “stranger danger” — it scares children out of approaching helpers; teach Check First and “safe grown-ups don’t ask kids for help” instead
  • No equipment: none needed — role-play with words, or use stuffed animals as the lost child and the helpers
  • Cross-domain: role-play builds narrative and perspective-taking, shouting the real name links to learning personal facts, and naming trusted adults supports emotional security
  • Progression: stop and stay put → shout the grown-up’s real name → find a uniformed helper → or a parent with children → never leave with anyone → recognise tricky requests and Check First

Sources

  • National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) — KidSmartz: the 4 Rules of Personal Safety (Check First; Take a Friend; Tell People No; Tell a Trusted Adult)
  • American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org — Help Prevent Your Child from Going Missing (most abductions involve someone the child knows; teach caution without fear)
  • Nemours KidsHealth — Teaching Kids to Be Smart About Strangers (judge by actions, not looks; safe helpers in uniform, or a parent with children)
  • Nemours KidsHealth — Preventing Abductions (if lost in a store, ask a cashier and stay put; never go to the car park)
  • Pattie Fitzgerald, Safely Ever After — the tricky people concept (safe grown-ups don’t ask children for help)
  • Head Start ELOF — Goal P-PMP 6 (knowledge of personal safety practices and routines)