Cheer-Up Post — A Delivery for Someone Having a Hard Time

The child makes and delivers a small cheer-up — a card, a drawing, a picked flower — for a real person who is ill, sad, or lonely, choosing it to suit that person.

  1. Pick the person together: a friend home with a cold, a grandparent who lives alone, a neighbour with a broken arm, a sibling who had a bad day.
  2. Wonder aloud: “How do you think she is feeling right now?” Stuck in bed, bored, missing kindergarten, a bit lonely?
  3. Ask the key question: “What does she like?” — not “what do you like?” If the child suggests their own favourite (dinosaurs for Grandma), ask: “Is that Grandma’s favourite, or yours? What makes Grandma smile?”
  4. The child makes the cheer-up: a drawing of something the person loves, a card with their own writing or your dictated words, a posy from the garden.
  5. Deliver it in person if you can, or post it, or hold it up on a video call. Stay in the background and let the child hand it over.
  6. Afterwards ask: “What did her face do when she saw it? How did it feel for you?”

Variation: make a cheer-up for someone in the wider world — a thank-you drawing for the bin collectors or the librarian — or put together a tiny “feel-better bag” (tissues, a tea bag, a drawing) for a poorly family member.

Requirements

  • Space: A table for making; a short walk or trip for delivery
  • Surface: Table
  • Materials: Paper, crayons or markers; optional envelope, stickers, a flower
  • Participants: 1 adult + 1 child, plus the person receiving
  • Supervision: Active for the planning conversation and delivery; light during the making

Rationale & Objective

Rehearsal with toys only goes so far — empathy becomes a habit when children act on it for real people and see the result. Choosing something to suit the receiver is a practical exercise in setting one’s own preferences aside, the core move in mature empathy described by Hoffman (2000). Watching the receiver’s face closes the loop: Aknin, Hamlin & Dunn (2012) found that even toddlers showed more happiness when giving treats away than when receiving them, especially when giving was costly — an early “warm glow” that makes kindness self-reinforcing. Reaching beyond immediate family follows the Making Caring Common Project’s advice to widen children’s circle of concern and to give them regular, real opportunities to practise caring. The UK EYFS and CASEL’s Social Awareness competency both look for children showing sensitivity and concern for others’ needs and feelings.

Progress Indicators

  • Early: happy to make something but chooses entirely by their own taste; unsure how the person is feeling; shy or indifferent at delivery
  • Developing: with questions, names how the person might feel and includes one thing the person likes; hands the card over with you beside them
  • Proficient: thinks of what suits the person with little prompting, delivers it with a kind word, and describes the person’s reaction afterwards
  • Advanced: suggests a cheer-up on their own when they hear someone is ill or sad, and thinks about what that person actually needs (company, a visit, quiet)

Safety Notes

  • Do not visit anyone with a contagious illness in person — post the card, leave it on the doorstep, or use a video call
  • Check with the receiving adult before a visit, and prepare the child if the person looks different (in a hospital bed, with a cast or bandages)
  • Prepare the child that the person may be too tired or too sad to react much; say in advance that the kindness still counts
  • Do not force a shy child to hand it over or to hug the receiver; standing beside you while you pass it on is a fine start
  • Supervise scissors, and garden flowers — check they are not from a toxic or thorny plant

Hints

  • Playfulness: turn the child into the postie with a bag and a homemade stamp; let them ring the doorbell and announce “Special delivery!”
  • Sustain interest: keep a small stack of blank cards and envelopes in a “cheer-up post box” so a card can be made the moment you hear someone needs one
  • Common mistake: the adult choosing the person, the picture and the words. The thinking — who, how do they feel, what would they like — is the exercise; the artwork is secondary
  • Limited space: no materials at all — record a short voice or video message with a song or a joke chosen for that person
  • Cross-domain: writing a name or a dictated message is early writing with a real purpose; drawing and cutting practise fine-motor control
  • Progression: cheer-up for a close family member → a friend or relative outside the home → someone in the community → the child initiates and plans the whole thing

Sources

  • Aknin, L. B., Hamlin, J. K. & Dunn, E. W. (2012). “Giving leads to happiness in young children.” PLoS ONE, 7(6), e39211
  • Hoffman, M. L. (2000). Empathy and Moral Development: Implications for Caring and Justice. Cambridge University Press
  • Making Caring Common Project, Harvard Graduate School of Education — guidance for parents on cultivating empathy and widening children’s circle of concern
  • Zahn-Waxler, C., Radke-Yarrow, M., Wagner, E. & Chapman, M. (1992). “Development of concern for others.” Developmental Psychology, 28(1), 126–136
  • UK EYFS — Personal, Social and Emotional Development ELG, Building Relationships (“show sensitivity to their own and to others’ needs”)
  • CASEL — Social Awareness competency (showing concern for the feelings of others; demonstrating empathy and compassion)