Me Too! — The Common-Ground Hunt

A quick question game for two in which the players hunt for things they both like, have, or can do — and shout “Me too!” each time they find one. Finding common ground is how children’s friendships usually begin.

  1. Explain the hunt. “We’re going to find out what’s the same about us. Every time we find one, we both say Me too! and link pinkies.”
  2. Take turns saying one thing about yourself. “I like pancakes.” “I have a sister.” “I’m scared of thunder.” “I can hop on one foot.” If it is true for the other player, they call “Me too!”
  3. Collect the matches. For each one, drop a button in a bowl or draw it inside a big circle on paper. Aim for five.
  4. Celebrate one difference. When something does not match — “I like olives.” “Yuck, not me!” — say “That’s a just-me” and draw it outside the circle. Friends do not have to match on everything.
  5. Turn a match into play. Pick one thing from the circle and do it together straight away — both like dinosaurs, so play dinosaurs.
  6. Carry it to a friend. Before the next play date or preschool day, ask “What do you and Ola both like?” If the child is not sure, their mission is to find out one thing.

Variation: Friend page — draw the child and one friend with the things they both like in between, and add to it over time. Stand-up version for three or more — one person says a thing and everyone for whom it is true jumps up.

Requirements

  • Space: Anywhere — table, sofa, car, walk
  • Surface: Any
  • Materials: Optional — paper and crayons, a bowl and a handful of buttons or pebbles
  • Participants: 2 players — adult + child, two siblings, or two friends; 3+ for the stand-up version
  • Supervision: Light — adult is a player; with two children, an adult gets it started

Rationale & Objective

In Gottman’s classic study of how previously unacquainted children become friends, one of the conversational processes that best predicted whether two children “hit it off” was establishing a common-ground activity and exploring similarities and differences, alongside clear communication and friendly handling of disagreement (Gottman, 1983). Similarity is a strong pull from very early on: Fawcett & Markson (2010) found that even 3-year-olds prefer to play with someone who shares their tastes, and Rubin et al. (1994) found that newly acquainted 7-year-olds were drawn to peers whose play style resembled their own. The game makes this natural process deliberate and gives the child words for it. It also builds the knowledge behind the sociometric measure in this subdomain — a child who can say what they and a friend both like can also say who their friends are, and Ladd (1990) found that children who made and kept friends in the first months of school adjusted better to it. The “just-me” step keeps the message honest — friends are similar, not identical.

Progress Indicators

  • Early: states things about themselves but does not listen for the match; needs the adult to say “Me too”; cannot name what they share with a particular friend
  • Developing: enjoys calling “Me too!”; finds 2–3 matches with a parent; names one thing they and a friend both like when asked
  • Proficient: asks the other player questions to hunt for matches (“Do you like swimming?”); accepts differences cheerfully; uses a match to suggest what to play
  • Advanced: does this on their own with a new child (“I have that too!”); remembers friends’ likes over weeks; goes beyond favourites to feelings and experiences (“I was nervous on the first day too”)

Safety Notes

  • Physically safe; watch the emotional side
  • Make sure a “not me” never becomes mockery — model an interested “Oh, you like that? I don’t. Tell me about it”
  • Do not let the hunt turn into a test of who belongs (“you can’t be our friend, you don’t like football”); name that directly if it appears
  • A child may reveal a worry or something sad during the game — pause the game and listen
  • With two children who have just met, keep it short and move to play quickly; too many questions feels like an interview

Hints

  • Playfulness: invent a “Me too!” move — pinky link, double clap, or a silly dance — and do it every time. The ritual is half the fun
  • Sustain interest: use themes — food day, animals day, “things that scare us”, “things we’re good at”. Play with grandparents by phone and discover what they liked at five
  • Common mistake: the adult saying “Me too!” to everything. Be truthful — a real “not me” makes the real matches mean something
  • Limited space: needs nothing and no room — ideal for the car, a queue, or a waiting room
  • Cross-domain: the circle drawing is an early Venn diagram (sorting, maths); counting matches is numeracy; asking and answering in turn is conversation practice
  • Progression: adult and child with favourites → child asks the questions → siblings or cousins → two friends at a play date → matching on feelings and experiences

Sources

  • Gottman, J.M. (1983), “How children become friends”, Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development
  • Fawcett, C.A. & Markson, L. (2010), “Similarity predicts liking in 3-year-old children”, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology
  • Rubin, K.H., Lynch, D., Coplan, R., Rose-Krasnor, L. & Booth, C.L. (1994), “Birds of a feather…”, Child Development
  • Ladd, G.W. (1990), “Having friends, keeping friends, making friends, and being liked by peers in the classroom”, Child Development
  • Teaching Strategies GOLD Objective 2d — makes friends
  • CASEL — Relationship Skills competency